The Weighted Truth: 7 Days in …

A blog journey following me as I go through Pre Weight Loss, Laproscopic Sleeve Surgery, post surgery and beyond.

Every morning my beautiful daughter sends me a song to dance to, think through, be inspired by and show her love and support of me.  This morning as I write my blog I’m listening to Rise Up by Andra Day.

I’ll Rise up and I’ll do it a thousand times again.  For you ……

When the silence isn’t quiet …. And I know you feel like dying but we’ll move mountains …. 

The “For you” is for ME.  I’m the you.  

Yesterday was one of the hardest days so far.  It involved other people so I’m not going to subject them publicly to my social media.  What I will say is that I believe I made a HUGE transformation yesterday from being someone who pleases other people all the time to someone who developed positive boundaries and engaged in self care.  I had to do something that tore at my heart, and I had to do it knowing it would really hurt someone I love.  At the same time, as I go through this journey, I have to honor my truth and my own needs and whatever it is that assists me in my healing.  I’ve got to make some breakthrough’s.  And I did.

It’s interesting.  There are people who will cheer you on but get uncomfortable with your changes.  I think this is true in all cases of any of us who grow and morph into our beautiful selves.  It makes other people uncomfortable.  When we stand in our light and it shines bright and we are smiling and free ….. Sometimes other people will look at that and think, “Wow, what an arrogant bitch.”  We are not arrogant.  We are confident.  BIG DIFF.  I get it.  I was one of them.  But you know what I think now?  I think I was jealous.  

I had to drive by a McDonald’s Drive Through yesterday.  I was alone.  The voices SCREAMED.  “Just get a 4 piece nugget, no one will know.”  And, “It won’t hurt you, it’s only 4 nugs.”  I literally had to yell at my head.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  I found myself screaming out, “I’m worth more than a chicken nugg!” Then I started cracking up as I hit the gas and floored my ass past the drive thru.  

Today I will rise up.  Comin’ at ya world.